Living The Blessed Life...

Monday, April 4, 2011

Saying Goodbye...

I never leave this house without Amelia. Seriously. I've left her here with David 3 times since she came home. I'm not kidding when I tell y'all she goes everywhere I go. I had to run into town to pick up a few things this afternoon and decided to let her stay home and play outside with Daddy. Of course, her idea of playing outside is pulling you by the hand, picking grass, flowers and weeds.

First things first. We're not allowed to run water without her stopping what she's doing, running to us with hand outstretched, saying, "Han....han..." So, I thought I'd sneak a shower while she napped and was almost finished when I hear, "MOMMMMYYYYYYY!!!!!" followed by the pitter patter of chubby little feet. Then I hear her little taps on the bathroom door through the screams of, "Mommy! Doah! Wa! Han!" Translation: "Mommy! Door! Water! Hand!" Short, sweet and to the point.

David entertained her while I finished my shower. Once I opened the door, she had to help me dry off with the "tow-ell" and assisted me while drying my hair by holding the hair dryer. Don't worry, I've only been whopped a couple times as she waves the dryer back and forth. Thank you for your concern.

When I went to get dressed, she made sure I knew what each of my body parts were: "le, knee, fuh, han, ahr, and most importantly, boob." Translation: leg, knee, foot, hand, arm and boob." Nana taught her that one. David taught her "butt." At least she didn't feel the need to point THAT one out to me. I guess she figured if I didn't know what that was by now, there was no hope for me. She then proceeds to tell me what each article of clothing is.

Then it starts. "Mommy, go." as she walks over to her changing table and attempts to climb up to the top so she can have her hair put up in bows and clothes changed. My heart cracks just a little.

As I walk down the hall, away from her room, she toddles behind and takes a right toward the kitchen as I took a left toward the living room. "Mommy. Baa!" (Mommy. Bag.) She was going to get her cooler bag that we carry her bottles and snacks in. Add another crack to my heart.

When she notices I didn't follow her to the kitchen, her entire tone changed from certainty to uncertainty. "Mommy? Baa? Mommy....? I'm within an inch of not leaving at this point and she's not even all that bad! LOL

She went straight to the door when she came into the living room, reached for the knob and said, "Mommy. Doah. Go." I picked her up to get my kisses and my hug but had a hard time putting her back down. Not because I was having an emotionally rough time but more because she had leeched herself to me. David decided to take her outside while I left in hopes that it would be easier for her.


I got in the van, put the window down, and after blowing kisses, she came up to the door and reached for the handle, "Mommmmmyyyyy. Doah. Mommmmmyy! han! Mommy! Go!" "Mommy, open the door! Mommy, get my hand! Mommy, take me!) She didn't start crying until I pulled away. I didn't either...

When I called a little later to check on them, David said she ran to the end of the driveway and screamed, "Mommy!!! Noooo!!! Mommy!!!!" over and over while crying her little eyes out. She was still whining in the background and I had been gone over 2 hours. Needless to say, he was ready for me to come home. My heart ached as I imagined the sound of her little bare feet pitter-pattering on the concrete as she ran to the end of the driveway. I told him I didn't want to hear anything else, I was on my way home. lol

I'm impressed that he didn't call me to tell me what was going on. He knew I'd stop whatever I was doing to come home to make her stop crying. Yeah, I'm a sucker when it comes to this precious child but I'm not a bit ashamed of it.

We had our final "preemie evaluation" last week. They were happy with her progress and said she's somewhere between her actual and adjusted age for development. In other words, she's great but not quite caught up. :)

Can you believe our little Miracle Girl will be TWO next month?! Her party is at the same place as last year. If you'd like to come be a part of her special day and need directions, just let me know. Just as last year, we'll have food and no gifts are necessary! We just want those of you that want to be there to feel comfortable in coming and we don't want to impose on those of you that would rather watch from afar. ♥

It still amazes me that so many people prayed for and cared for our little girl. If you could see her in person, you would know your prayers were answered. She is such a sweet, loving, affectionate, funny and caring little girl. I've never seen such compassion in such a young child before. She kisses MY boo-boos and even pulls my blanket up around me when we go to bed. Not always, but enough for me to take notice. She almost always kisses me goodnight, first on the lips and then on the forehead, and nothing melts my heart like hearing her say, "lu oo." Of course, that translates to "Love you."

She's a lot like her daddy in that she's more affectionate in private and more of a ham when there's an audience. When it's just her and me, she often sits beside me on the couch, holding my hand. Every once in a while, she lean down and kiss my hand and then smile up at me like she's just done some great deed...and, of course, she has. She has melted my heart.

Apparently her molars are coming in because she likes to chew on my finger like a puppy. She takes my finger in her little grasp and says, "tee" (teeth) while moving my hand closer to her mouth. She opens her mouth and then when I get my finger back there, to the side of her other teeth, she bears down a little. Then she moves my finger to the other side of her mouth and does the same thing. She hasn't bitten me...yet. I take that back! She bit me yesterday but that was completely my fault. I was feeding her something and she took a bigger bite than I anticipated. When she did, she bit down into my thumb and I just about went to my knees. She came up to me the rest of the day and said, "owwie" while kissing my thumb. LOL!

She's not always the perfect angel but those "bad" days are still good to me. When she has a temper tantrum, I rejoice in the fact that she has the ability to express her feelings and emotions. When she screams and cries, I thank God for giving her healthy lungs that work perfectly. And when she acts like she doesn't want to leave her grandparents, I'm grateful for the relationships she forging with people that love her as if she were their own.

I've said for nearly 2 years that I'm just grateful and I still am. Unfortunately my actions and words don't always reflect my honest and true feelings of thankfulness but I am humbled by ALL that God has blessed me with: my family, my home, and my salvation. What more is there?