Living The Blessed Life...

Sunday, August 25, 2013

New Routines

Random factoid - Amelia made up her first song to the tune of an actual song the other day. 

To the tune of "Are You Sleeping?" or "Frere Jacques":

"I love my Mommy.
I love my Mommy.
Very Much.
Very Much.

Yes, I love my Mommy.
Yes, I love my Mommy.
Very much.
Very much."

Personally, I think it's the greatest masterpiece ever written. ;)

We went to the "City Park" today. It's not exactly how I remember it from when I was Amelia's age, but not bad. Amelia realllllllllllllllly wanted to feed the ducks, and believe it or not, that was the only place I could think of to go. Of course, we're greeted with big, obnoxious signs politely asking us to not feed the ducks. We may or may not have accidentally dropped/tossed/thrown what may or may not have been an entire bag of popcorn in random spots around the pond. It's possible that Amelia might have been charged by a flock of white and brown ducks.

I have a love/hate relationship with my camera. I absolutely treasure every single moment I capture but I hate how cumbersome the camera is. It gets in the way of life while I'm trying to capture it. 

Amelia is proof that God still answers prayer. I will never, ever, never, ever, ever, never doubt the power of prayer. That said, if you have a second to say a prayer or two for us, we'd be much obliged. Long story short, I'm no spring chicken and my eggs are fried. ha! No, seriously, it's no secret we'd like to have at least one more baby and you all know it doesn't happen all that easily for us. I hear my clock ticking and Amelia seriously wants to be a big sister more than anything. She told me just today that she'd "let me help her take care of the baby if God sends us one." Why, thank you. That's so very kind.

Speaking of "kind," as we were leaving the park this evening, I heard, "Miss Red Tu-Tuuuuuuu." Truthfully, I ignored it until I heard it again, even louder. I turned around to see an older lady sitting in her car waving a $5 bill at me. She said, "Honey, here. Won't you take that sweet angel for some ice cream?" I smiled and assured her that I had just had that very same idea. She insisted I take the money, saying she had never been able to have children and that she tries to spoil others when she can. I tried to politely reject  her offer again, but she said, "Please let me do this. It'll make me feel better." What can I say to that, but "Thank you."

I really talked the event up to Amelia, stressing how generous and kind it was for a complete stranger to do something like that. I told her we need to try our best to always be sweet to people, even when we're mad and even when we don't know the person. I believe we'll take it a step further and "pay it forward" somehow. I just now thought of this, so I'll talk to her in the morning and see what kind of idea she comes up with. (Can you tell I generally have no idea what I'm going to say until I start typing? I actually wrote the next half of the entry first but figured it'd be better off last. Make sense? lol)

Read on if you're curious how our sleeping arrangements are going. If you couldn't care less, and who could blame you, I'll just say "THAN YOU FOR BEING HERE" and "GOODNIGHT."

I caved. Amelia caught me at a weakened state and I finally did it. I crawled my big ol' butt into her toddler bed. There's a reason they're called "toddler beds." They're for miniature adults. This would be a good time to praise the manufacturing of said bed. Not a single creak, I tell ya.

As soon as I laid down, it began to thunder and the rain started to ping against Amelia's window. She was a little unsettled, but thought the sound of the rain was "interesting." When I thought she was asleep, I started to get out of the bed/sardine can. She popped up like a jack-in-the-box, grabbed my arm and wrapped her arms and legs around it like a bear cub. She fell asleep sitting up beside me. At 6am, she woke up screaming for me and finished the remainder of her sleeping in my room. 

We decided to do books, prayers, and talking in my (and David's. lol) room last night. She wrapped her little arms around my neck, gave me a million kisses and was OUT. Wonder of all wonders, I fell asleep and slept through the night as well. Not entirely through the night. I've come to realize, I actually DO sleep better if she's not in bed with us. I wake up every single time she moves and she pushes me to the corner of the bed. Yep, she's a bed hog, but David's just not going to budge for anybody! ;)

The first thing I heard this morning was, "Aw MAN! I was going to sleep in my bed last night!" After talking for a bit, we decided to keep our bedtime routine and IF she fell asleep anywhere but her bed, I promised to put her in her room so she could wake up in there. 

Tonight, the same thing happened. She was out within seconds of finishing our prayers and I kept my end of the bargain by putting her in her bed. I said to David, "my baby's too little to be all by herself," you know, as if she wasn't in her own bed from the day she was born until after she was a year old. Hopefully, she won't wake up screaming in a few hours and we have found a good compromise to our new routine - 'cause I'm not getting back in that itty bitty bed. 

If you read all of that, I'll again say, "THANK YOU" and "SWEET DREAMS!"

Thursday, August 22, 2013

The End of an Era

From the time Amelia came home from the hospital, she needed me to fall asleep. We started out rocking together as she drank her bottles and then I'd put her in her bassinet or crib once she was asleep. As she got a little older, we'd lie down together in my bed and then I'd put her in her crib once she was asleep.

When she was 15 months old, we went to the beach for a week and she had to sleep with us the entire time, with no crib to go to once asleep. When we got home, there was no turning back. I tried placing her in her crib a few times, but she'd immediately wake up screaming for me. So, I stopped trying and we just let her sleep with us. 

In the last three years, we've attempted to have Amelia sleep in her toddler bed. She lasted one night on a few different occasions and even two nights one particular time. Tonight we are on Night 5, and if I'm being completely honest, I'm heartbroken. I miss my Bunny.

It all started Saturday when she and I were cleaning her room. I had the bright idea to go through her stuffed animals to see if there were any she could live without. There weren't. While we were getting the stuffed "friends" out of her bed, I asked when she thought she might want to try sleeping in her bed. She said, "Ummm, prolly a couple weeks." I smiled and said that was ok. 

We finally got it cleaned out and this is what we ended up with:

She quickly climbed into her bed, jumping and laughing. Then she hopped down, grabbed a book, and climbed back in saying, "I got a book I knew so I could read to you, Mommy!"

It wasn't quite bedtime yet, so we went to have a snack and chill out for a while. When it was time for bed, I asked where she wanted to sleep and *gasp* she chose her bed. I smiled and said, "Ok" never thinking she'd actually stay. We put a new bulb in her nightlight and she moved it over by her bed. She chose two "animal friends" from the stack for her, chose two for me to keep me "compny" since she wouldn't be there,  turned on "Nightlight Dinosaur" and commenced to begging me to stay.

We discussed how her toddler bed wasn't long enough for Mommy but that Mommy was never far away. She made me promise that I was still close even if I wasn't in the same room. We talked about how all her "animal friends" were sitting there, watching over her. We said our prayers and "thankfuls" and then it was time for me to walk away. After several "sssshhhhh" and "go to sleep, baby" she was out.

I checked on her more times than I care to admit. I had to rearrange her several times so that she didn't fall out and I had to remind myself this was a good thing. It took everything I had to not pick her up and take her to bed with me when I finally crashed. 

I woke up before she did Sunday morning. She and I both were so proud of her!

Amelia was a teeny bit clingier than usual and didn't want to go to Children's Church that morning. I don't know if it had anything to do with that or not, though. 

Sunday night, she started to cry a little while asking me to hold her while she went to sleep, "and then put me in my bed, please." Did I? Absolutely. We turned the lights off in the living room and snuggled while she settled down into her "happy place."  

Monday night, night 3, I hear: "But, Mommy...I don't want you to be far. I miss you too much when you're not here. Mommy, can we get a longer bed so you can sleep with me? Pleeeeeeeeeease?" The thing is, I don't want her away from me, either.  We don't mind her sleeping with us. We just want her to know she can. I want her to know it's ok for me to not be right.there.this.close all the time - even if that's where we're both most comfortable.

Tuesday night, we laid down in my bed to say our prayers and snuggle a bit before she went to her bed. We both ended up falling asleep and when I woke up a couple hours later, I didn't take her to her bed. When I went back to bed a few hours later, I just moved her over and climbed in just as I've done countless times before. For whatever reason, she and I seemed to toss and turn more than usual. When she woke up, she put a stuffed animal in bed with me, and went to her bed. I asked what she was doing and she said, "going to my bed like I said, Mommy." I had to let her know it was morning.

Tonight, which I suppose is technically Night 5 although she didn't quite make it to her bed last night, she went straight to her room. I even tried to get her lay down with us to say our prayers and talk for a minute before she went to bed, but she didn't want to do that. Of course, she wanted me to crawl into her little bed with her, but well, yanno...

I honestly never thought she'd actually be willingly sleeping in her own bed right now. She was so adamant about "not being ready." She seems to be sleeping solidly and hasn't woken up in the middle of the night one single time since moving to her room. That could be how late she's actually going to bed or maybe she's just not being disturbed. 

I'm extremely proud of her and I'm sure this is a good thing. At least, that's what my brain says, but my heart isn't so sure for some reason. I've always listened to her cues and would never hold her back. I just miss that snuggle time! I miss that sleepy, "awww, sweet Mommy.... I love you" while she settled in close. I miss the little kisses on my cheek as she wakes me up in the mornings. I miss baby. 

I know I sound insanely emotional and crazy, so I'll just say I'm having a very rough time with this whole not-feeling-needed-anymore thing. 

And that I'm looking for a twin bed...

Wednesday, June 26, 2013


Due to a lovely sinus infection and migraine induced nausea I hid under the covers in the cool, dark bedroom this evening leaving David and Amelia to entertain themselves. I woke up as they were coming to bed, just in time for my nightly snuggles. Amelia gave me the biggest hug, kissed my forehead and asked if I felt better. Even if I hadn't felt better, I wouldn't have had the heart to tell her.

We all three put our hands together and said our prayers. Then she asked:

A - "Mommy, is it time to say the things I'm thankful for?"
Me - "Yes ma'am. Let's go for 5 things tonight." (I say "ma'am" to her so that it's second nature for her to say it to others.)
A - "Ok! Will you count for me while I say them, please?"
Me - "Of course!"
A - "I'm thankful for you and Daddy. I'm thankful that you have your dresser for me to put my milk on. I'm thankful for the whole world. I'm thankful for our house. I'm thankful for my toys." 

We're working on being thankful for non-tangible things and people instead of stuff, but it's cute to see how a kid's mind works. She always starts with being thankful for mommy and daddy, but the rest of what she says is completely random. Sometimes she is thankful for people in her life, naming them one by one, and other times she looks around the room and is thankful for things like the ceiling fan and TV. Each night, I'm thankful for her thankfulness. 

She tossed and turned for minute, lifted the covers, snuggled up to me and said, "Ahhh! That's better. That's why I couldn't get comfortable. You know I just can't go to sleep without snuggling with you, Mommy. Silly me! I just love you, Mommy." 

God knew what he was doing when he sent us such a loving, affectionate child. She heals me daily and teaches me how to love freely without fear of rejection. For that freedom, I am thankful. 

Click to see Amelia's original journal.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Happy 4th Birthday!

Four years  ago I had just been rushed to Labor & Delivery from my bed in Antepartum with David following behind. Our “25-weeker” immediately made her grand arrival and was greeted by an army of nurses, doctors, and respiratory therapists. It all happened so fast, I had to ask David if I had just had a baby.

He later told me they briefly held Amelia up for him to see before whisking her away but it would be several hours later before I saw our 1 pound, 11 ounce miracle girl. Her nurse was very technical and seemed to assume I would retain the terminology he was throwing at me. Apparently he hadn’t been informed of the Vicodin and Morphine I had just been given because he handed me a thermometer and encouraged me to check the temperature of this tiny little being.

I was terrified and anxious all at once. I NEEDED to feel her but her little body appeared so frail. The width of her leg was smaller than my finger, her fingers the size of toothpicks, and her head felt like a baseball in my palm.

She would surprise us all in the months and years to come. The nurses described her as "feisty," and most days, that description still fits. She is the sweetest, most compassionate child I've ever known, with a determined spirit I admire and respect even during those days I want to pull my hair out BECAUSE of that determined spirit!

Amelia Gracelyn Rumfelt, you are a dream come true for many. You were prayed for long before God sent you to our family. Mommy and Daddy love and cherish you more than you will ever know and look forward to experiencing your life's journey as your biggest supporters. We are so very grateful to have been chosen to be your parents.

Happy Birthday to Daddy's Angel, Mommy's Baby & Sunshine, Granny's Munchkin, Nana's & Pawpaw's Girl, Uncle Heath's BabyGirl, Aunt Wendy's playmate, Pawpaw's Sweetheart and the world's Wonder Preemie.