Mistakes

Amelia and I seem to do a lot of talking in the time after we turn out the lights but before she drifts off to sleep. Tonight I was thanking her for being such a good girl today, telling her how proud I am of her thoughtful spirit to which she replied, "But Mommy, I whined and didn't say thank you." I told her that everyone makes mistakes but those mistakes don't make us bad people. They're just the wrong choices and all we need to do is apologize if we've hurt someone and learn from the mistake.

She asked what makes someone bad, and instead of answering, I asked her what she thought. She said hurting someone on purpose is something a bad person would do, and as much as I wanted to tell her there are no bad people, just good people that make bad choices, I couldn't. I think of people that kill their kids and child molesters, and I cannot see any excuse for their actions. None.

Anyway, she asked if I had made any mistakes today and I laughed, thinking to myself, "Sheesh. Did I do ANYTHING right today??" Again, I asked her if she could think of any mistakes I had made, and God love this child, she couldn't think of any. So, I owned up to a few and then told her my biggest mistakes were not holding her enough, not saying I love you enough and not telling her how grateful I am for the sweet girl she is. She smiled and told me she loved me while David snorted, probably thinking there was no way I could've done any of those things more than I already did. ha.

We talked about what choices we could work on tomorrow to make it better than today and she said she could say thank you more and I agreed to be more patient while she tries to remember. :) She asked if I would please remind her if she forgot and I assured her we would work on these things together.

Some days I'm not sure if she's 5 or 25, but I'm sure glad I get to live these moments with her.

OH!! For Amelia's 5 year check up, she was 39 pounds and 40 inches. When I got home, I looked up the average size for a 5 year old girl and it was *drumroll* 39 pounds and 40 inches!!! God is good!

***THIS WAS ACTUALLY WRITTEN NOVEMBER 2013***

I had carpal tunnel surgery on my left wrist today. You know...because the right hand was so much fun! 

As Amelia and I snuggled last night before going to sleep, I went over again that I was having surgery in the morning and that she would sit out in the waiting room with Daddy. She again asked if she could go with me instead, to keep me company and hold my hand. I explained that it wouldn't take long and that she'd have fun with Daddy. She brushed the hair off my forehead and rested her sweet little hand on my cheek, and said, "But Mommy, I'll be patient. I just want to be with you." She smiled, reached over and gave me a kiss and said, "I love you, Mommy..."

*sigh* Such a sweet baby. 

When I went in for my right wrist, it took them 8 IV attempts, accompanied by a shot of lidocaine each time for a total of no less than 16 needle pokes and prods to get one, stinkin' IV in. They tried my hand, upper arm, lower arm, foot and finally got it in the underside of my wrist. 

Dear Lord in Heaven, please help me to nurture this sweet spirit as she grows. Please protect her heart against the coldness of this world and let her find strength in Your peace and goodness. Amen...