One year ago today...

Since the end of April, I catch myself thinking, "One year ago today, I was....," filling in the blank with the appropriate information. "One year ago today: my water broke, I was transferred to Forsyth, I went into labor, saw Amelia for the first time, touched Amelia for the first time....." The list goes on and on and on.

While writing her journal, I've never gone back to read a previous entry. Until tonight. Since she would've been 2 weeks old today, I read the blog entries from days 14 & 15. I held Amelia for the first time on day 14 and will forever remember the feeling of her tiny, warm little body wiggling against my chest to settle into what would forever be "her spot." I can still remember the feel of her tiny, toothpick sized fingers grasping my index finger and the sterile scent that would quickly become sweeter to me than any perfume money could buy. Her stats became picture perfect and my world suddenly made sense.

In my own words - "As soon as they put her warm, wiggly body under my shirt, against my skin, a peace came over me that's impossible to describe. All was right in the world and every single step we've taken to THIS one, single moment was more than worth it. THIS is what we were praying for, we just didn't know it. "

As much as I loved her then, as confident I was that I could never adore her more than I did in that very second, I'm daily overwhelmed by emotion as I hold our little girl, inhaling her own unique scent and feeling her chubby fingers completely wrap around mine. I go to bed each night, sure that I couldn't possibly love her more. Yet, each morning I wake up to find my heart has expanded to somehow accommodate the love and joy that appears upon seeing Amelia's smiling face looking up from her crib, anxiously waiting for me to peek over the edge. As soon as she sees one of us, she squeals, kicking her chubby legs in excitement. How can you not be crazy about someone that's THAT excited to see you?!

As wordy as I am, I can never find the right words to thank God for His abundant blessings. Thankfully, He knows my heart but that doesn't stop me from trying! Usually, I manage to muster a very sincere, extremely heartfelt "thank you" through my body's replacement for words - tears. Poor Amelia's going to think her mommy is a basket case once she gets old enough to realize I'm crying nearly each time I rock her! Eh...she'll figure out I'm not quite right eventually anyway.

You've heard that "love is blind?" Well, that's not always true. I love Amelia more than anyone could possibly imagine...but I'm not blinded by that love. I know she's rotten. There's no denying it. She has us ALL wrapped around her chubby fingers and none of us are a bit ashamed. She's become quite the Daddy's Girl lately, though. She cries the second he walks in the door because she didn't magically appear in his arms. He HAS to come get her or she has a complete meltdown. hehe Yes, I think it's funny and he tries not to smile. He fails.

If he needs to go outside, well, she NEEDS to go with him. Bathroom? She'd prefer to join him there, too. Across the room? Don't get more than 6 feet away or you're asking for it! Granted, she's like this with me, too, but it's just so cute to see the Daddy's Girl coming out in her! It's even cuter to see this big guy melt to mush just 'cause she says so. Bless his heart, he just doesn't even have a prayer!

Her favorite place to be is in our bed between the two of us. She rolls and climbs all over the place but takes little breaks of lying down between us, making sure to reach out and touch us both. She'll look up at me and smile, then over at David. Once she's confident we've gotten her message, she gets back up and plays some more. She climbs up on David to give him kisses then will roll over to give me kisses. Those are the BEST kisses in the whole, wide world even if they are a bit slobbery! Once she's ready to go to sleep, she'll grab her blanky and lie down between us. She HAS to be touching us both or she can't get situated. She cries if one of us leaves, but that's pretty much par for the course these days. Surely, she won't have such separation anxiety much longer. Surely. Will she? lol

Amelia has been a drooly, whiny, clingy, teething grump this week! Sometimes it looks like another bottom tooth is coming in and other times it looks like one of her top teeth. She really wasn't bad today but yesterday was rough. Hopefully, she'll be good for Nana tomorrow!

Oh!! We went to Amos Cottage in Winston for Amelia's physical therapy evaluation this past Monday. The therapist was absolutely taken back by Amelia's progress and health. She didn't see any physical problems at all and said Amelia was on target for her adjusted age of 9 months. We just need to help her get caught up to her actual age of 1 year but she didn't see any reason, what so ever, why Amelia wouldn't get to where she needed to be on her own.

I could've told them that.

I did tell them that.

Nobody ever listens to me.

I had to laugh when the therapist asked the same question we were asked throughout our time in the NICU - "Are you sure of your dates? She doesn't act like a 25 weeker!"

"Yes ma'am. I've ovulated 3 times in 10 years, all three medicated. She was conceived on a Sunday at 9:27 pm. I ovulated 17 minutes later." TMI?

She seemed genuinely surprised and pleased with Amelia's muscle tone and development, commenting on how strong Amelia was which is something we heard in the NICU, and actually something I've heard all my life. She IS her mother's child, bless her heart.

I suppose I should go to bed in case Baby Bear wakes up sometime during the night. Some night she does, some she doesn't. I REALLY like those nights I get to sleep all the way through, except I rarely manage to sleep the entire night. My mommy ear keeps me half awake at all times, expecting her to request my presence (ha!) at anytime. Some of the very best sleep I get anymore is on Saturday when she's at David's mom's because she's gone all day and I don't have to worry about dropping her off or picking her up. It'll be rainy tomorrow....Amelia will be at Nana's....do you see where I'm going here? *smiles innocently*

I hope you all have a wonderful and SAFE holiday weekend. Be sure to thank a soldier and his/her family if you can and thank you for being here. This miracle girl STILL belongs to us all...

G'night!